“Enough!” bellowed the old laird as he rose stiffly from his chair. His commanding voice belied the weakness of his slow-moving body, as did his brightly lit green eyes. His thick hair, which had once been a dark red, was now a beautiful silver gray barely reaching his shoulders.
Emerald shards of frustration and aggravation lashed out at the two seething figures in his dayroom. Both remained affected by his looks of fury. They were too obstinate to realize his toleration of their mutual detestation had vanished. No longer could they avoid the inevitable.
Alexander clamped his jaws together as a shot of fire coursed through his chest. The pains were becoming more frequent--and more powerful. His time left was limited, and before he died, he vowed his clan would be in the hands of the one man who could ensure its survival.
He glared at the powerful Highlander towering motionless near the hearth, and then slid his gaze toward the obstinate redhead across the room. Her jaw was clenched and her hands were clasped behind her back as she paced furiously back and forth across the planked floor. Neither of them was any closer to conceding.
In two strides, Alexander was in front of the hearth and met the fierce gaze of two bright cobalt eyes intense with controlled emotion. Alexander Dunstan knew he was considered a large man by his Lowland peers and had often used his height to intimidate those who had raised his ire. However, the idea of his imposing figure affecting Colin McTiernay was ludicrous. The man was a giant even among Highlanders. And while Alexander would never admit it aloud to anyone, he usually avoided being in situations in which he had to look up at his son-in-law. However, right now, the anger, fear, and frustration boiling in his blood made him oblivious of Colin’s towering stature.
“Pride!” Alexander growled. “Aye, your damned, maddening, and unreasonable pride! It prevents you both from accepting what must be.” Refusing to wince as the burning pressure in his chest strengthened, he returned to the comfortable, oversized chair situated in the middle of the room.
He sank into the well-worn leather cushions hoping the man he had learned to trust above all others would now trust him. Alexander knew his people disliked outsiders, but he also knew that given time, they would follow and respect the Highlander. Colin was one of those rare men a laird was lucky enough to meet, let alone welcome as family. He was a highly skilled soldier, but even more important, Colin”s ability to train and create unbreakable bonds with his men made him an exceptional leader. Loyal, strong, and fair, the Highlander was Alexander”s undeniable choice to lead his proud people. But, more than that, Colin was the only one who could save them.
Alexander shifted his gaze to the slim athletic woman with the fiery red mane and flashing clover-green eyes. There was no doubt she was his daughter. Her long, wild, slightly curly hair matched the color of his youth. Her eyes were both proud and compelling, and her unconventional demeanor reflected more of himself than any son he might have had. But, right now, his youngest daughter”s willfulness was going to destroy not only her future happiness but also that of everyone and everything she loved.
Makenna Dunstan was not exactly ignoring her father, but whenever the Highlander was in sight, her heart raced and her blood boiled. She stopped pacing, crossed her arms, and stared defiantly at her fate looming over the hearth. She then looked at her father and shook her head firmly no, hoping to exhibit the inflexibility of her decision.
Alexander closed his eyes and after a few moments reopened them. “I love you, Áille, but your pride will give you no lasting joy,” he cautioned her solemnly.
Makenna increased the grip she had on her arms. Her father”s special epithet for her--most beautiful--had not masked the seriousness of his comment. He fully expected her to be at the chapel tomorrow, in front of everyone, and do the impossible. She would not bend. She could not bend...not on this.
She marched over and knelt by her father”s chair. “Your affections will not dissuade me, Father. I openly admit to my pride. It has given me self-respect and a sense of value. And with my pride, I can promise you I will never marry that overbearing bully of a giant,” Makenna huffed, locking eyes with her oversized nemesis. She rose slowly. “He might have convinced my sister to marry him, but he will never convince me.”
Colin clutched the timber portion of the hearth”s mantel so tightly he could feel the wood begin to give beneath his fingertips. Makenna Dunstan was by far the most infuriating woman in all of Scotland, and despite her impassioned claim, it was he who was refusing to marry her. “I also have my pride, woman, and it does not include latching myself to a female who refuses to know her place. I want a wife who can maintain a keep, not see it go to ruin as she rides wild on her horse trying to be a man she can never be.” Colin”s voice was level and soft, but its impact was just as strong as if he roared the words aloud.
He watched as a slim hand calmly smoothed back loose wisps of curly red hair. The action revealed insolent jade pools framed by long dark lashes. The woman was like unrestrained fire, constantly challenging him on everything. It mattered little to her what her father wanted or what her four older sisters encouraged. She had been allowed to indulge in her peculiar interests for too long. She had never learned how to be a woman, let alone a wife.
Makenna refused to turn away from his cold gaze. She would not give him the satisfaction.
Colin was unmistakably a Highlander, and definitely a McTiernay with his giant build, dark brown hair, bright blue eyes, and stubborn jawline. When Colin married her sister, he had entered the Dunstan home and consequently Makenna”s life. Within weeks, he had started banning her from the few activities that gave her confidence. Even though she was better at them than most men and had been doing them for years, he deemed them unsafe for a woman. Now, for almost two years, she had been forbidden to hunt wild boar or any other beast he deemed to be dangerous. She was never to ride alone, and he had prohibited her from training with his soldiers. One by one, Colin McTiernay had stripped away her favorite pastimes, and all with the blessing of the one person who had previously championed her unusual diversions--her father. She would never marry the dictatorial colossus, tomorrow or any other day.
Makenna released the back of the leather chair, swung around, and begun pacing again. Her father had had enough? Well, she was also done with this conversation. For weeks, she had felt like a caged animal being pressured into a binding agreement that would eventually steal her sanity. Despite her stream of vocal refusals, her father had moved forward inducing her older sisters, Ula and Rona, to plan the wedding. Every local laird had been invited, and most had come. Tomorrow they would all be disappointed.
Makenna took several intakes of breath, determined to maintain her composure. “I cannot do as you ask, Father. I am not ready to pledge myself to any man, but I especially won”t to this one. Deirdre might have loved him, and I have never fathomed why. I don”t disagree that he can lead men and rebuild our battle strength. I will even admit that he should continue to train our soldiers, but I just cannot marry him. I will only make us both miserable, and that cannot be good for anyone, including our clan.”
Shocked by her flattering admission of his abilities, Colin was too stunned to do anything more than stare at her. He had never before had Makenna acknowledged his skills or supported his efforts to reestablish the Dunstan army. Outside of his soldiers and Alexander, no one had verbally recognized what he had accomplished. He was about to say as much when Alexander indicated with a flicker of his fingers for him to remain silent.
Alexander understood his youngest daughter”s reluctance. Marrying a Highlander would be difficult, and promising oneself to a McTiernay would be even harder. Their enormous size, dark looks, and cool blue eyes made even the most composed of men sweat. But marrying the husband of her dead sister? It was a near impossible thing to ask. Near.
“I have heard your pleas, Makenna. I have catered to your rebellious ways for too long and now that I require you to act not only for yourself, but for others, you refuse me.”
Makenna winced. “Father, it is not for me, but for this clan that I refuse.”
Alexander”s eyes narrowed and he attacked her declaration. “It is for you. And even your sister, who watches you from above, knows it. Do not pretend otherwise. Accept for once that I know what is best and lean on my judgment. For if you do not, it will be my cousin who decides this clan”s fate--as well as your own.”
Alexander shifted his focus to Colin. “I have heard your excuses as well.” He saw the swift turn of his son-in-law”s head and the burning fire smoldering in the cobalt depths of his eyes. The man had complete control of his actions, and though Colin outwardly appeared calm and collected, Alexander knew he was suppressing his instinct to draw blood. Alexander also knew his words had to strike hard to achieve his goal. He had no more time to wait. “Aye, I said excuses, Colin. Deirdre died nine months ago, and she loved you, son, but she would not have wanted you to live this way--constantly driving yourself and the men. You have a decision to make. Keep your pride and return to your Highlands or finish what you started here. Make your choice. You”re out of time.”
Alexander rotated in his seat and leveled his eyes on his youngest daughter. She stared back undaunted. He had often felt enormous pride in her ability to remain staunch in her convictions. Too many times his delight with her willful behavior had resulted in him giving way to her unorthodox desires. Now she was the only one of his five daughters unmarried. “And you, my Áille, keep your pride as well, but learn to be lonely. For one day, possibly very soon, you will no longer have me to applaud your unusual accomplishments. And whom will you have then? You claim you desire no man, but I put forth that what you have always wanted was for someone to accept you, be proud of you, and love you. I have given you this, but still you want more. Someday you will realize that what you seek needs to be offered by a man, a real man, not one of the malleable ògans who follow you about professing their awe at your skills. Go and prepare yourself for a sad and solitary life, daughter.”
Alexander watched a visibly shaken Makenna absorb his words. More softly, he added, “Colin is right, Makenna. You have little knowledge about being a proper wife, but you could learn.” He paused and waited until she looked at him. “What a man seeks most in a wife you have to give in abundance. That I promise. You just must first learn to trust in him and in yourself.”
He leaned back against the cushions. “And, Colin, despite your year with my Deirdre, you learned very little about being a good husband. Aye, I know the truth. Remember, she was my firstborn, and I knew her for almost six and twenty years before she finally chose you for a husband. Do you know how many she had turned down before you asked for her hand? Do you know why she desired you above all others? Aye, it might have been love, for indeed, she did love you, but she knew even before I did that you could save our people. She waited to marry until she found someone who could do just that. If you choose to leave, her desires for her clan will have been for naught.” Alexander watched the deep blue of the Highlander”s eyes grow darker.
Colin stood silent for several moments before moving toward the large dark walnut door and pushing it open. He stopped his exit halfway into the passage”s outer stone corridor. Gravely, he pivoted and declared quietly, “This isn”t what I wanted, Alexander.”
Green eyes weakened by pain and loss captured the blue ones of the man Alexander had learned to trust and lean upon. “I know,” Alexander replied, “but it has to be. Either you and Makenna marry tomorrow or you leave. Both of you, go now and make peace with your decision.”
Alexander closed his eyes and listened to his daughter”s light retreating footsteps followed by Colin”s heavier ones. Two years ago, when his eldest daughter had announced her decision to marry the second eldest of the famous McTiernays, he never dreamed he would select Colin to be the next laird of his clan. Yet soon after their marriage vows, Alexander knew Colin was the one man who could ensure that his Dunstan lineage continued to grow and be prosperous.
His clan was not ready for another war, and yet despite Edward I”s celebrated death, a fight was coming in the shape of his son, England”s new king. Located on the Scottish Borders, the Dunstan clan was especially vulnerable. It needed a brilliant leader like Colin, who possessed the rare ability to train raw men into skilled warriors ready for combat.
Makenna, with her unorthodox habits of training with the soldiers, was the only one of his offspring who understood just how depleted the Dunstan forces had become while supporting Wallace”s cause. Without McTiernay”s leadership and legendary ability to train and build a loyal force, his people would be enveloped by another branch of Dunstans, and his bloodline would fade as if it never was. Makenna would most likely be forced to wed the man designated to run Lochlen Castle, and Colin would be obliged to return north, causing his soldiers to either go with him or disperse. Some would join Robert the Bruce”s campaign, but very few would remain loyal to the Dunstans. Most had joined to follow McTiernay, and the majority of them would follow him to the Highlands if he left. Eventually the Dunstans would be no more.
There would be a marriage tomorrow.
There had to be.
Colin marched out of the dayroom and descended the tower”s stone spiral staircase. Rounding the last turn, he exited into Lochlen Castle”s inner ward and proceeded along the southern curtain wall leading to the inner gate. Named for Malcolm Canmore III, the Canmore and Forfar Towers were two of the castle”s most prominent structures.
After the Viking raids, Malcolm III was one of Scotland”s first rulers to defy the Norman kings of England reluctant to accept Scottish independence. Malcolm”s leadership inspired the construction of many keeps, including Lochlen, named after the small lake located southwest of the castle”s town wall. Continually fortified for over two hundred years, Lochlen had been transformed into a small, well-fortified castle nestled between the Lammermuir Hills and the River Dye Water. Seven towers unevenly spaced to fit the rolling contours of the land formed the castle”s odd-shaped inner ring. Surrounding the main castle was a thick outer curtain wall connected by intermittent round drum towers situated to protect the two main outer gates.
Colin had intended to continue expanding and securing Lochlen by completing the town wall surrounding the local village. While it would only protect clansmen who made their home behind the stone barrier, the wall created a place for Dunstans and allies to come and seek refuge when under attack.
With Alexander”s decree that he leave, the wall would be completed without him.
Colin”s mood darkened with each step. He had been walking among Dunstan clansmen for almost two years and still the men and women scampered like frightened children out of his path. Today was no different as one by one they ceased their occupation and dashed out of view. He knew his black mood was clearly etched on his face, but Colin doubted his expression was the cause behind their fast disappearance. The Lowlanders darted out of sight because of who he was--an unwanted outsider, an undesired future clan leader, and worst of all--a Highlander.
Only one man in sight was brave enough to approach Colin rather than flee. With one brief glance, Dunlop discerned his commander”s ill temper and the conversation that had caused it. Wide-shouldered and muscular with thinning brown hair, Dunlop deluded many to believe he was older than a man of five and twenty years. Even Colin had been surprised to learn Dunlop”s age when he was first conscripted into the Highlander”s burgeoning cluster of men. Soon, though, Dunlop and his best friend, Drake, were true converts, learning much from the Highlander, including how to trust and follow an outsider. Colin in turn had made them both his commanders. In time, Dunlop and Drake learned how to train and then strengthen raw, inexperienced men with the necessary skills to become warriors. It was now their responsibility to observe the ranks and ensure that the skills of every man grew steadily each day.
In order to hide their multiplying numbers, Colin had split his men into two groups. Those ready for combat honed their abilities behind the Lammermuir Hills under Drake”s command. A lack of natural passes and the hills” steep gradients, though not especially high, formed a formidable barrier. Consequently, travelers circumvented the area, unaware of the nearby force being trained discreetly. Dunlop worked with the second group, consisting of new and inexperienced recruits, in the Dunstan training fields located east of the town wall in an isolated spot to discourage casual observation.
Colin was well aware that many believed his army consisted of only those men spotted training in the fields. They thought his training slow, his numbers few, and the soldiers unprepared. He did not intend to convince them or anyone else otherwise.
Soon after his arrival, when the army”s growth started becoming noticeable, Colin and Alexander decided to keep its true size a secret known only to them and his commanders, Dunlop and Drake. Makenna was the one person Colin suspected might be able to discover the truth. Despite ending her eccentric habit of training and sparring with his men, the willful woman wanted to watch. Very quickly, she would have noticed skilled soldiers disappearing from the training grounds and would have sought him out for answers. Colin had no intentions of giving explanations, especially about where his more advanced soldiers had gone. Consequently, he had forbidden her to come near the grounds, a decision he had paid for many times with loud curses and verbal attacks.
Dunlop turned and fell into step alongside his commander. Walking beneath five raised iron portcullises, they traversed the large inner gatehouse. Entering into the wide outer yard created between the inner and outer curtain walls, they passed the armory. Dunlop took his cue from Colin and only gave a perfunctory nod to the older gentleman standing in the doorway. The action conveyed that Colin”s conversation with Laird Dunstan and his daughter had ended even worse than Dunlop had originally surmised. For it was rare that his commander did not stop and greet Camus, a sword smith Colin both respected and called friend.
Colin headed straight toward the stables located against the southwest corner of the outer curtain wall. Dunlop followed but stopped just inside the stable doors. A cold expression filled his commander”s face, and he could not discern whether he should leave or stay. Not able to choose, Dunlop waited patiently for instructions as he watched Colin prepare and then mount the monstrous black horse. Despite the beast”s size, the animal was quick and nimble and responded to Colin”s slightest commands.
Dunlop leaned against the wide doorframe and gestured for the stable master to leave. Colin rarely exposed his anger, but in his present mood, it would take very little to antagonize him.
The source of Colin”s frustration was not in question, but Dunlop wondered at the exact cause of its current intensity. For the past month, both Colin and Makenna had been steadfast in their convictions not to marry, and the laird had been equally clear about his disappointment. Then again, the pressure to marry was steadily increasing as the stream of visitors continued to arrive at Lochlen for a ceremony that was supposed to happen on the morrow.
Colin sat bareback for a moment staring at the black mane of his horse. Pulling the reins to depart, he realized Dunlop was still calmly standing at the entrance. Lines of frustration deepened along Colin”s brows and along his forehead. “Ride with me, Dunlop, but I warn you, I am not prepared to speak of my exchange with Alexander.”
Dunlop gave a light shrug in agreement. “Aye. Where do we ride?” he inquired, moving to jump onto his preferred brown stallion.
“We”ll follow the river,” Colin replied as he urged his black out of the stables and toward the town gate. Once outside, he drove his horse over the green and gold grassy knolls and headed south toward the River Dye Water.
Dunlop assumed Colin would ease the force at which he rode once they reached the river”s rocky banks, but Colin just turned east and continued hard beside the water”s strong current. Dunlop had begun to wonder if Colin was planning to ride all the way to the North Sea before he finally reduced his speed.
Slowing to a stop, Colin slid off the animal”s wet back and stared into the setting sun. The ride had done nothing to end the war waging in his head. Two incompatible options loomed before him, both with unacceptable consequences.
Instinct said to return to the land that spiraled into the sky with frigid cold lochs and men and customs he understood.
Pride required he stay and complete what he had started. Honor was forcing him into doing the unthinkable.
He needed to keep the promise he had made to his lovely wife, Deirdre.
She had been so weak for most of their marriage, but in her last hour, she had suddenly become strong in her desire to have him understand what he needed to do. “My dearest Colin, you have taken such good care of me. I fell in love with you when I first saw you. I will never regret one moment of the time we have shared.”
Her voice had been soft, but unusually firm. It scared him. “Don”t speak, my bean sì. Just conserve your strength and get better,” he whispered, clasping her pale, cool fingers as he knelt by her bedside. Fear gripped him. He was going to lose her.
Her hazel eyes smiled at him. “I have been so unfair to you, my Colin, so incredibly unfair, and yet you never wavered.”
He kissed her lips lightly and smoothed back the pale gold strands of her hair, fingering their softness. “You have never been unfair to me, Deirdre. I never wanted to marry until I met you, and never once have I had a single regret.”
Deirdre reached up and caressed his cheek. “No, I have been selfish, Colin. I was never the wife you needed me to be. I was just lucky to be the one you loved.”
“I was lucky to have found you.”
She lowered her hand and smiled, shaking her head. “Ah, Colin, you deserve someone who can match your passions, stand by your side when needed, and be a true friend. Until now, I could not be that for you.”
“You have always been more than enough for me.”
“It is kind of you to say, Colin. You may even believe that, but I know the truth.” Deirdre put a finger against his lips, preventing him from arguing. “I needed you, Colin, and you were there for me, but when did you ever need me? I mean need me. I know you don”t understand, but I pray that someday you will and that you will need your wife as much as she needs you.”
Colin placed a warm, tender kiss against her palm. “Shhh. You are speaking nonsense. There will be no one else. I want only you, bean sì.”
Deirdre sighed at his pet name for her. Fairy woman. “For everything that you have given me, I want to give something to you in return.” Deirdre took his strong fingers into her own and squeezed them. “Colin, I want you to marry Makenna.”
Instinctively, Colin retreated several inches. “Marry Makenna! Are you mad?”
Her eyes danced. “I thought you said I was the sanest of the Dunstan daughters, and Makenna was the crazy one,” she chided him softly.
He released her fingers and sat back, running his hand roughly through his hair. “She is! She”s wild and crazy and completely without control. She does nothing but argue and fight against everything I do. The woman...”
“Makes you come alive. Listen to you. Even now you show more life at the mention of her name than anything I have ever done.”
Colin was about to argue that he preferred her quiet nature when Deirdre began to cough. She was failing fast and the last thing he wanted to do was argue with her. He silently vowed to agree with whatever she said.
Deirdre fought to suppress her coughing attack and said firmly, “A marriage to Makenna will protect the clan, and despite what you think, she will make you a good wife. And, Colin, when you find yourself falling in love with her, I want you to know that it is a good thing, a wonderful thing, to find love twice. And when you find yourself happy--happier than you ever were with me--know that I am looking down with joy. That it”s what I wanted. That above all other things, yours and Makenna”s happiness is my last wish.”
All these months later, he could still see the look of peace on Deirdre”s face after he agreed to consider her request. Even today, he could not fathom why his lovely, gentle wife had thought he could be contented with such an irrepressible creature as her sister.
Colin had buried Deirdre on a cool foggy October morning truly believing her to be his first and last wife. Never did he imagine that nine months later he would be forced into the one thing he vowed never to do again--marry. And in truth, his oath had very little to do with Makenna.
He had been in Ayrshire fighting alongside Robert the Bruce at the Battle of Loudoun Hill when he met Deirdre, who was visiting her sister to celebrate the English”s defeat. He thought he had finally found a woman with whom he could enjoy a marriage similar to his parents”. Beautiful, petite, and with a smile that could warm the coldest of nights, Colin believed he and Deirdre would eventually create the unique bond only soul mates shared. Instead, he had watched Deirdre become ill again and again, becoming weaker each time, never able to do anything about it.
“Dunlop?” Colin asked abruptly. The sudden noise startled both his guard and horse.
“Aye, Colin,” Dunlop responded after recovering.
“Do you know the laird”s cousin? Is Alexander correct in his belief that his cousin would challenge me as laird if I remained unwed to a Dunstan?”
Dunlop took a deep breath and exhaled. So that was where Colin”s mind was at...the possibilities of continuing his work here without having to marry. “I wish it were not so, but the man would undoubtedly oppose your being laird. Robert Dunstan swore an oath, as did Alexander, that only descendents of their blood would inherit Lochlen. He respects you and the McTiernays, but only if you were to marry and have children with a Dunstan would he support your claim.”
Colin recognized the truth of his words. “Who would Robert name?”
Dunlop played with the hair on his chin, the one place it grew in abundance. “I assume you mean who besides Cedric would Robert name as laird,” he stated, receiving affirmation by Colin”s nod. “Aye, that is the struggle. I doubt there is anyone else. And while Cedric is likeable, he is no leader and definitely no warrior. Another reason why Robert would not interfere if you were married to Alexander”s heir.”
Colin flexed his fists. Cedric was an agreeable lad, but young and inexperienced. Despite his good intentions, Alexander”s clan would collapse at the first sign of any battle--whether with neighboring Lowlanders or the English. Most Dunstan allies were at least a two-days” ride away, and it took time to muster forces and move them. For Alexander”s lineage to survive, the Dunstan clan had to be capable of repelling an unexpected attack for several days, if not weeks. Even then, it was risky, as current allies were pledged to Alexander, not Cedric. Only since Colin had taken over the training and continued the fortification of the town wall was the idea of a safe and growing Dunstan clan becoming feasible.
Colin flexed his hands again. He needed more time, the one thing he did not have.
Dunlop grimaced and voiced the dreaded option of marriage. “Colin, I do not envy you or your decision. Makenna is a wild beauty and would be difficult to tame.”
Colin felt his jaw clench. “Damn near impossible. And she is no beauty. There is defiance in everything about her, from her unruly red hair to her insolent green eyes.”
“Aye, I”ve seen them, and it”s not insolence, but fear you see,” Dunlop disagreed, his tone hesitant.
Colin fought from snorting aloud. “Fear? Dunlop, are you crazed? That woman fears nothing, no one. Even when she should.”
Dunlop shook his head. It was dangerous to counter Colin, but it was important that his friend understood Makenna--especially if they were to wed. “Nay, she fears anything she cannot do well, including marriage. And she definitely is a beauty. Unconventional maybe, but unquestionably bonnie, especially when she leaves her hair unbraided. Many men think so, including Laird MacCuaig. It is rumored that he has more than once tried to convince her to marry him. She is probably the only person in the world more against the concept of matrimony than you.”
Colin looked at the departing sun and twisted the dark mane of his horse in his fingers and easily swung onto its back. “She will have to get over it, then.”
Dunlop moved toward his own mount. “You have made your decision?”
“I have. Ride and inform Laird Dunstan to find his daughter. We wed tomorrow.”
“Aye,” Dunlop answered, swinging onto the brown stallion. “Are you riding on?”
Colin nodded woodenly, still digesting his decision. “I”ll tell the men later. Right now, I need to think.” And thinking meant a long, cold swim.
Makenna took a step toward the edge of the small loch her home was named after and dipped her bare foot beneath the surface to test the temperature of its hidden depths. Despite the early summer”s warmth, the water was still cool.
It was late and the dark night sky would blanket her path home, but at least she was finally alone. It had been difficult to elude the two guards Colin had ordered to watch her whenever she ventured outside Lochlen. At first, it had been easy to sneak by them, but they had learned her tricks faster than she could devise new ones. She had to be especially clever upon her return or yet another pathway to freedom would be stymied.
She yanked her red and green bliaut over her head and threw it on a nearby tree branch. Her off-white chainse immediately followed. “It”s unfair!” she yelled at no one. “Of all the people in this world forced to marry, it should not be me. Father could have no doubts that I would make the worst wife. Colin certainly has none. Then what do I care what that man thinks? The only thing more intolerable than Colin McTiernay is being Lady McTiernay,” Makenna said, shuddering at the idea.
Her older sisters had chided her for years about her tendency of talking out loud to herself, but like most of their criticisms, it had fallen on deaf ears. Makenna had told them it was an unbreakable habit. It was other people”s burden, not hers. But, in truth, she hated being an annoyance or a millstone to anyone, almost as much as she hated to fail.
Makenna stripped off her last piece of clothing and without hesitation, dove into the cold waters. She held her breath and waited for her body to adapt to the icy sensation against her bare skin. When her lungs could stand no more, she broke through the surface and took in a deep breath. The cold was near unbearable, but the silence and the lack of company were worth the self-inflicted torture. Tonight, however, the numbing benefits of the loch could not remove the sting of her failure.
Lochlen Castle was slowly falling apart. During the first few months after Deirdre”s death, life had progressed normally. Chores were done, linens were cleaned, and baths were drawn. Then for some inexplicable reason, random everyday activities had ceased. From the critical steward”s constant looks of expectation and disappointment, she knew it was because of her. So many times she wanted to ask him what to do, but refrained at the last moment as memories of her failing even the most mundane female disciplines filled her head.
“And that is why I just cannot marry anyone. I don”t know how to be a wife, let alone a laird”s wife. Why, Lord? Why wasn”t I born a boy?” she cried out in anguish.
Makenna stroked the water, focusing on the feel of the rippling water against her nude frame now moderately acclimated to the cool temperature. Since she was a child, she had deliberately avoiding any domestic endeavor, instead focusing on exciting activities such as hunting, riding, and swordplay. Those times she had been cornered by one of her four sisters into some keep endeavor, she had failed miserably. “Why is it that everyone wants what I cannot give and forbids what I can?” she sighed aloud and maneuvered to the large rock that jutted out from the water”s surface almost forty feet from the shoreline.
Deirdre had been the one to show her this small secluded spot and had taken her here as a child to go swimming. Deirdre would never go in, but she would watch as Makenna frolicked in the water. Later, it became a place for them to talk, just them--no one else.
People, especially her father and later Colin, were so careful around Deirdre. They never raised their voice or challenged her on anything. Deirdre said she hated it, but Makenna, who did not feel inhibited by her sister”s frailty, challenged the avowal. “You love it, Deirdre. You know you do. Everyone caters to your whims. Think how much it would bother you if someone actually challenged or refused one of your requests. If you were honest, you would not deny this.”
“If I did make such a confession, then I would only do so to you. You keep me grounded, Makenna. Without your honesty, I should be lost.”
“Then I shall supply it forever. Besides, without you, I would be doomed for perpetual sorrow. For I know it is you who ran interference with that hulking husband of yours and got his permission for me to ride and hunt again.”
“I am sorry Colin would not also let you train with his men. It was your most favorite of loves.”
“I”ll take what I can get. I just wish you would ride with me.”
Deirdre shook her head daintily. “Not for me. I”ll leave that lively activity for you. I”m perfectly happy running Lochlen.”
“Thank the Lord,” Makenna murmured aloud.
“You should be thanking your luck that Father Renoir decided to return to France. If he heard your language of late, you would spend all your hours in repentance.”
Makenna headed for the shore. “I”m glad he”s gone. If it weren”t your husband nagging me on this and the other, it was Father Renoir. Both men are completely impossible to please.”
“If you knew Colin better, I think you would like him...a lot. He”s a great deal like you. All fire and passion. I often think he would be happier married to someone with your zest and energy.”
“Ha! He”s your husband, not mine,” Makenna said, rising from the waters. “I choose never to marry.”
Deirdre threw Makenna a cloth. “Not even to Laird MacCuaig?” Deirdre asked mischievously. “I understand that he has been after father for your hand for some time.”
Makenna faked a shudder and continued drying her legs. “Especially not to him. He”s...I don”t know, but he is...something. I don”t trust him.”
Deirdre hopped off the low-lying limb. “Then neither do I. I trust your instincts, Makenna. I wish you would trust mine about Colin. He really is a wonderful man. No woman could ask for a better husband.”
The memories of her sister were so strong Makenna could still feel Deirdre”s presence, even all these months later.
Makenna squeezed her eyes tightly together. If she did marry Colin, they would both be miserable regardless of her sister”s fervent deathbed pleas otherwise. Deirdre had been graceful, petite, fair, soft-spoken, and mild-mannered. She was what Colin desired for a spouse, not her.
Makenna opened her eyes and peered over the semislick rock to study the other side of the slim oval-shaped loch. The opposite shoreline was a good distance away, but she knew instantly she was alone.
More than once, she had seen Colin use the grassy banks across from her secluded rocks as an entrance to the peace and cold the loch provided. She was positive he had never been aware of her presence. He was too focused when he swam, vigorously stroking the cool water as if he were trying to drive out a demon. She had watched in secret fascination.
He was big and powerful and proud. There was no mistaking him for a Lowlander. Everything about Colin, from his stance, to his walk, to his all-around demeanor exposed his Highlander origins. He was arrogant and overbearing, but he moved beautifully. She had never seen a man with such control over everything he did. Though she would never admit it, even to Deirdre if she were still alive, Makenna had often wished to find someone with Colin”s self-discipline, muscular body, and ability to lead.
Never, however, did she wish it to be Colin McTiernay. “No, I want someone who will love me, not dominate me. I want someone I can trust, who will trust me in return. Forgive me, Lord, but, damn you, Colin McTiernay!” she shouted before dropping down into the water and swimming underneath its surface to the shore.
Colin came to an immediate halt. He had debated on jumping into the cold retreat, but at the last moment, he had changed his mind. Instead, he had dismounted his horse and led it around the small loch knowing each step brought him closer to Lochlen...and his fate. He had no doubt Makenna”s reaction had been explosive when Dunlop relayed his decision. She was most likely pacing in front of the outer gate preparing to spring a stream of arguments upon him.
Colin swallowed heavily. If he dreaded returning home now, how could he bear living with her...being married to her? The question was still ringing in his head when he heard the splashing and unintelligible mutterings of a female.
Colin moved into the shadows, welcoming the diversion, curious to discover who was foolish enough to swim alone and in the dark. A second later, he knew the identity of the fool. The familiar hiss followed by a “Damn you, Colin McTiernay!” left no doubt as to who the night swimmer was--Makenna.
Shaking his head in exasperation, Colin tied his horse to a nearby branch and turned to reprimand her for once again ditching her guards. Before he could utter a word, he was struck dumb and immobile.
Unaware of Colin”s presence, Makenna rose out of the water completely nude. She threw her head back to wring out her hair. The action thrust her pale breasts upward. Colin watched unable to breathe as the droplets of water slid down the curvature of each full swell to her navel and then lower.
The cresting moon provided just enough light to reveal a level of female perfection he had not realized was possible until now. Colin knew he should move, say something to let Makenna know he was there, but he was finding it difficult to breathe, let alone speak. Instead, he stared transfixed and became, for the first time since he could remember, unmistakably--and worse--uncontrollably aroused.
The concept was inconceivable. He had always been able to contain his passions. He could blame the unexpected reaction on his empty bed. He could claim that seeing any naked woman would make him hard with need, but it would not be the truth. Makenna Dunstan was incredibly beautiful.
Her face, no longer hidden by her mass of fiery hair, revealed delicate facial bones and a full mouth. Her skin was the color of pale cream mixed with a bare pink tint. Long, wet tendrils fell behind her shoulders down to the middle of her back, softening her athletic appearance. For the first time, Colin could see both her strength and her femininity. Makenna was not a fragile, ethereal fairy creature, but a woman made for a man.
Makenna reached for her chainse and pulled it on. The worn cloth clung to her wet skin. Knowing now what secrets it hid, Colin wanted to reach out and rip the gown off her. He wanted to touch her skin and discover if it was as soft as it looked from the shadows.
Colin leaned back against the tree trunk and forced himself to take a deep breath. He had no idea what was happening, but he had to stop it. There was one sure way to end this violent need coursing through him and that was just to talk to her. Makenna could drive a man to the brink of insanity faster than anyone. Surely, three words from her and the world would be righted again. He opened his eyes and moved out from the shadows.
Makenna was wrapping the gold belt of her bliaut around her waist when she heard the crack of a twig break beneath someone”s foot. “Who goes there?” “It is I, Makenna,” Colin said softly, emerging halfway out of the trees. He was waiting for his body to calm, but the fire in his loins seemed to grow only hotter when her eyes found his. Independence, strength, and passion shimmered in the bright emerald depths.
Makenna was startled by Colin”s sudden appearance and low voice. He was half in the shadows, but she could still see his muscles rippling beneath his leine. The very way he stood was unlike any other man. She had never met anyone who was so at ease with himself as Colin McTiernay. Still, she always sensed he felt alone. He had the unswerving loyalty of his men, yet he never seemed to be one of them. Colin remained emotionally distant--even with his commanders.
She doubted anyone saw or even cared how isolated he was. Colin towered over everyone. He was undoubtedly the most skilled warrior his men had ever met. He exuded unbelievable strength just by his sheer size. Yet his blue eyes reflected a kind of lonesomeness she expected few saw.
Makenna suddenly realized she was staring at him. Pride immediately lashed out before he would realize the nature of her thoughts. “Decided to follow me yourself tonight, did you, McTiernay?”
Colin had thought for one moment they were going to have a real conversation, or at least a civil one. Her eyes had revealed concern and a longing for something right before they turned bright with indignation. The woman was a mixture of emotions, most of them incredibly exasperating. “No, it was by sheer accident I stumbled upon you still dripping from the loch,” he contended, pointing at her wet tresses. “Where are Gorten and Brodie?”
“Where do you think?” she retorted, jutting out her chin and placing her fists on her hips.
Colin rolled his eyes at her childish stance and waved his finger at her pose. “I think you find enjoyment in doing whatever I ask you not to do.”
“Not everything, McTiernay. But I admit to a wee amount of pleasure when I can rid myself of the two overseers you charged to ruin my life.”
“I did not realize that keeping you safe and well was contrary to your future plans.”
She took a step forward and replied through stiff lips, “My safety was never an issue before you arrived.”
Colin took a step even closer. “The Dunstans were never a threat to anyone till I arrived.”
“I”ve seen your army, Colin. We”re still no threat.”
Colin felt a muscle in his jaw flicker angrily. “If you knew me before I...” He paused and took three deep breaths. The woman was baiting him, and he was reacting to her gibes. “You should realize the folly of such assumptions. If you did, you would have made damn sure Gorten and Brodie were with you tonight.”
He had stopped himself, but Makenna knew exactly what Colin had been about to say. “Before I married your sister.” It only proved once again that she was right to refuse her father and remain unwed. A marriage was between two people, not three. And Deirdre would always be there. She was Colin”s first wife, her best friend, and their only commonality.
“I doubt your men wanted to go swimming with me.”
Makenna Dunstan could try a saint. Before Colin realized it, he was shouting at her. “If you want to swim, tell me, and I”ll take you.”
“Never, McTiernay,” she hissed. “I”ll not have you or your men hanging about while I”m unclothed. I”ll ride with your men, I”ll even hunt with them, but I”ll be damned if I swim with them!”
“Mo Chreach! My commands are not requests that you can choose to follow or disregard. Gorten and Brodie are to be with you each and every time you venture outside the town wall, and if I hear of you leaving again without them as escorts, amaid, you won”t be leaving at all.”
Makenna”s eyes flashed with fury. She could not choose which angered her the most, his command that she be followed about, his threat to confine her if she disobeyed, or that he had just called her a foolish woman. But, foolish or not, she recognized the seriousness of Colin”s threats. He meant them. He truly thought her to be unsafe alone in the lands and waters she had known her entire life. Even worse, if he believed her to be unsafe, so would her father. There would be no reprieve.
“Fine. They will be aware of whenever I leave, but they will have to keep up. I refuse to slow for your men.”
Colin closed the distance between them with one last stride and clutched her arm before she could retreat. “I want your word, Makenna. You will tell Gorten and Brodie each and every time you leave the town walls.”
His grip was strong, but not painful. It was meant to secure, not harm. Only by struggling would she hurt herself. The concept that he could both render her helpless and be in control of her fate was maddening. Makenna was tempted to stand silent and wait him out, but one look into his deep blue depths, she knew that despite her stubbornness, he would win the battle. “You have it,” she whispered.
Colin immediately let go, knowing her pride would bind her to the promise more than any threat he could make. With Alexander”s failing health, there was great debate over the fate of Lochlen and its people. Many neighboring lairds were here to witness a marriage and decide if the Highlander was to be called friend or enemy. They came with small armies, poised not only to protect but also to attack.
If Makenna Dunstan were captured, a battle for her release would follow, and Colin would lose a critical advantage. He needed to keep the size of his army a secret until he knew whom he would call ally and foe as the new Dunstan laird. As such, he would protect anything, or anyone, who could be used as leverage against him. And if that meant caging the exotic wild creature, he would.
Colin had chosen Gorten and Brodie to be Makenna”s escorts with extreme care. Both were masters in all of her fields of comfort. Expert horsemen, they could ride, hunt, and if necessary disarm her if she decided to draw her sword against them. He doubted she would. Makenna was foolish, but not unintelligent.
“I assume by making me swear this oath it means you”ve decided to stay,” Makenna said, her voice fading into hushed stillness.
Colin answered with a single nod.
“It”s a mistake, McTiernay. You and I will never work. Hasn”t the last few minutes proven that? I know you don”t like the Lowlands. How could you? My people treat you horribly. They don”t deserve you or what you could bring them. I don”t understand why you don”t leave. No one would think less of you.”
Colin was taken aback by her statement. Not one person, including Alexander and Deirdre, had ever acknowledged the poor behavior of the Dunstans. “I would think less of me, Makenna. Honor demands that I stay.”
“Nay, it is your pride that makes you resist what you know you should do. You hate it here. You have to,” she said softly, pleading for him to agree. Instead, he shook his head.
“Actually, I love Scotland--all of it. And these Lowlands protect my Highland mountains. I stay because I want to, Makenna,” he gently countered, watching her wring her hands in frustration...or maybe it was panic.
Stripped as she was of her haughty demeanor, Colin could see that Dunlop had been correct. Makenna was indeed afraid. Until now, Colin had not realized how much the idea of marriage frightened her. Gone was the snippy female who verbally attacked him whenever possible. In her place was a panic-filled woman who kept looking at him with large liquid-green eyes that begged him to change his mind.
Colin was about to pull her into his arms and whisper it would be all right, that she had nothing to fear, when Makenna tried one last plea for a reprieve. “If you marry me, you will grow to hate this land you now claim to love. I tell you the truth,” she said, stepping backward until she bumped into a tree. “I would be a horrible wife for any man. I have no knowledge about running a home, let alone a keep the size of Lochlen. My knowledge of men is limited to what they can do with an axe and a broadsword, and no matter how hard I would try, I could never be the kind, gentle beauty Deirdre was.” Makenna had barely spoken the last words when she found herself pinned between his two hands and the tree.
Hearing Makenna say that she would try and fail to be Deirdre caused a reaction in Colin he couldn”t explain. It was incredibly important that she not be like his late wife. “Listen to me now, Makenna. I don”t expect you to be, nor do I want you to try to be, Deirdre. She was my wife, and she is now dead.”
Makenna gulped. His face was mere inches away from hers. His blue eyes blazed with an intensity that reinforced his every word. Suddenly, her eyes popped open and became large with hope. “Are you saying you want a marriage in name only?”
Colin could feel the quick rise and fall of her hand-sized breasts. Just one more inch closer and he would feel her slim hips against his. She licked her full lips and Colin knew that he wanted to taste them, pull at them, devour them. No, this would not be a marriage in name only. “I am not a monk, Makenna, nor do I intend to live like one. I am a man who wants sons, and this will be a marriage in every sense of the word,” he vowed before claiming her mouth for his own.
The second his lips touched hers Makenna felt herself responding. His mouth was warm and soft, silently urging her to comply. Half her mind waited for the feeling of wrongness to take over and end this insanity. But it didn”t feel wrong. It didn”t feel like she was kissing the man who made her curse more in the past twelve months than in all her painful years of training. Colin was teaching her what it was like to be a woman, to kiss like a woman, to feel like a woman. It was incredible, unexpected, and powerful. And Makenna wanted more.
As if they had a will of their own, her arms stole around his neck as her lips parted in a silent plea for him to deepen the kiss. Colin needed no further encouragement. He moved to cradle her head between his hands and urged her to her tiptoes. She complied, and he kissed her long and soft and deep, capturing her tongue and drawing it into his own mouth. Never had a kiss been so satisfying.
Makenna”s untutored passion was unmatched by any woman he had ever touched. Her fiery nature made him desire her more than he dreamed possible. Was it because she was so different from Deirdre? His late wife had been too fragile for the passion and heat of desire. Whatever the reason, he no longer cared.
Makenna had been kissed, but never like this. Oh, Leon MacCuaig had tried often enough and every once in a while landed a lucky peck, but he had no idea how to touch a woman and cause her to burn up in flames. Colin was creating sensations and reactions she couldn”t explain. Her body was quivering, and at any moment, her legs would give beneath her. She clutched his shoulders afraid that if she fell, the spell would be gone.
Deep inside her, something had recognized and then responded to the masculine need in him. It wasn”t just a physical need, but a connection. A commonality beyond that of her sister. It was too lonely souls finding one another in a storm of passion and need.
Colin nipped at her lips before plunging again into the warmth of her mouth, seeking her tongue. She welcomed every stroke, every caress with equally surprising passion. Makenna clung to him in confusion and desire. He could feel her tremble and pulled her close to keep her from falling. He was not ready to end this unexpected gift she was giving him.
Makenna was sharing a piece of herself she had shared with no man. Colin felt both satisfaction and fulfillment, knowing he was the first to discover the passions that lay beneath her prickly demeanor. It would be worth enduring a hundred verbal wars with her to experience this again.
Makenna moved closer, clinging to him as if her body knew there was more. Colin”s heart was pounding so fast he thought it would explode. Every caress, every response she gave him was genuine, unrehearsed, unforced. She wanted him; he wanted her. Badly. So much that if he did not stop now, he wouldn”t be able to.
When he finally forced his lips to release hers, his chest was heaving with the effort it took to breathe. He gathered her close against him and thrust his fingers through her thick damp hair.
A deep sigh escaped her slightly swollen lips. She could feel his dark body hair beneath her cheek in the opening of his leine and decided she never wanted to move. He smelled so good, and it felt strangely right to be this close to him. Tomorrow she would wonder why she had been drawn to his embrace, and if she had only imagined the powerful emotions hidden beneath Colin”s cool exterior. But for right now, she just wanted to relish his strength and control and the intoxicating effect of his kisses.
Colin held her for several minutes waiting for his body to calm. Instead, every muscle remained alive with need. She had to leave and quickly, before he lost the control he took such pride in having. “Be at the chapel an hour before the sun sets. Tomorrow we will be wed,” he ordered gruffly, moving her away from him.
Colin quickly turned around lest she see his burgeoning manhood. Cold water was his only hope in dampening the fires she had ignited with her honest response to his embrace. Even with his back to her, he could still see the memory of her naked flesh as she emerged dripping with lucky droplets of water that touched every morsel of her body.
He dove into the cold waters thankful for their magical cure, but he knew it was only temporary. Later, as he sought sleep, he would remember her taste on his tongue--hot, wet, and sweet. Thank God, he only had to wait one night. Makenna would be his wife on the morrow and as soon as possible afterward, he was going to make love to her until all the needs pulsing through him were satisfied.
Makenna stood puzzled and hurt, staring at his retreating back for several minutes. After all his talk about running around unescorted, the man was actually going to leave her to walk back to Lochlen alone while he took a swim. The kiss was just a way for him to manipulate her into abiding his will.
She found her brown chestnut tied beside his large black mount and jumped on its back. She looked at the vacant spot from which Colin disappeared and uttered aloud, “You may be able to kiss, Colin McTiernay, but you”re still an overgrown giant. And you may be getting a wife tomorrow, but that doesn”t mean I will suddenly submit to you or your archaic rules. I will ride, and I will hunt, and I will keep training with a sword. And you can find someone else to run your keep and warm your bed.”
Makenna turned her horse and began riding hard back to the noise and firelight of Lochlen. Tears flowed down her cheeks. “What were you thinking, Deirdre?”